Ultimate Realization

I think that the only way I will find what I'm supposed to be doing is to find myself first. I've spent my whole life wandering around aimlessly looking for something to make me happy. Meditation has begun to teach me that I will never find anything until I am happy and at peace with myself. I must admit I've had a lot of trouble fitting in 30 minutes of meditation each day. There really is no other excuse besides I catch myself falling asleep due to me waiting until before I go to bed to begin my meditation. My body is already telling me it's time to sleep so I usually only last from 10-20 minutes. I truely believe it is making me better in my day to day life. But I am also excited about how much more 30 minutes a day would improve me. During meditation you're spending time paying attention to yourself and your own thoughts. There's no better way to honestly grow to love and respect yourself than listening to and watching the thoughts in your mind. Once you find this true love and respect for yourself, you can spread it to the rest of the world without jealousy, greed, or ego. Usually the great things in your life only begin to happen when you stop trying to hard to find them and/or just let life happen and appreciate all the other good things in your life. Just watch your life and the events in it, and just appreciate all of it for what it is whithout emotional attachment. This is when deep internal satisfaction arises. Then great things will begin to happen.